WHEN WILL YOU HAVE A BABY?

Assalamualaikum.

Eh kenapa tajuk ni sedangkan Nana belum kawen pun lagi?

I know someone, she has been married to the man of her life since 6 years ago, however Allah s.w.t has not bless them with a child. And here I am believing and praying that one day, they will be blessed with beautiful children. In Sha Allah. Have faith in Allah s.w.t.

No doubt, their 6 years journey of marriage are not easy.

Like the other couples out there who are waiting for years to be able to hold their firstborn, they are undoubtly in the midst of being pressurized by the society, with countless of concerns and various of critiques.

And my ultimate concern for this issue, some individuals, senang cerita jujurnya saya cakap Malaysian, sesetengah Malay Muslims sebab as far as know, I have not come across to any Non-Malay or Non-Muslim (makcik bawang, keyboard warrior, orang kampung yang terserempak waktu kenduri, jiran tetangga bila balik kampung, pasangan yang sudah dkurniakan zuriat & even their own family members yang close like their aunties/ uncles/ cousins/ in laws…) who tend to leave a pain or more pains in them.

لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا

“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an, 2: 286)

Yes, it’s definitely true, Allah s.w.t would test us differently because He knows we are capable and strong enough to overcome the tests that have been weighted onto us.

Nonetheless, those women are not always strong with the obstacles they need to go through in their daily life as the married women, who have yet to be able to produce a child, even though they are putting so much efforts either in terms of medical treatments or holistic alternatives.

I want to believe that they are tough all the freaking time but the fact that they are human, none of us cannot deny they will subsequently reach their weakest moments.

And yet some of you fancy to shower them with inconsiderate words like, 5 tahun kawen takda anak lagi, dia mandul kot/ takkan tak dapat anak lagi, dah lama kan kawen?/ kenapa belum ada anak ni? Tak mencuba ke? & etc.

I could say that those inappropriate comments/ questions might come from being so over-confident with the children you have been gifted with. Please, do not be too assured with what you are having right now. When Allah s.w.t says ‘Kun Fayakun’, sesaat pun kita tidak dapat menidakkan kekuasaan-Nya. Allah s.w.t can take back what He had given to you including your children.

Instead of burdening them with the unthinkable comments, why don’t you keep the ‘harsh’ words to yourselves and being silent whenever necessary?

Yes, I know it is tough to keep your mouth shut but if others can do, why not you? Had you still have loads of concerns, perhaps you can convey them using the right channel. (:

For instance, for those who are constantly reading Quran, I notice there are several verses that you can share to those future mothers to read as Du’a.

Another example, we can rephrase the harsh comment above into a positive one – 5 tahun kawen belum ada anak lagi, mungkin belum sampai rezeki awak.

Wealth and provision (rizq) are Allah’s secret. We would never know when, where or how.

A friend’s sister who had been enduring 11 years of hurdles to conceive a baby is now happily married with one child.

Alhamdulillah. Patience is virtue.

This reminds me of the story of Prophet Zechariah & his wife in Surah Maryam.

“My Lord, indeed my bones have weakened, and my head has filled with white, and never have I been in my supplication to You, my Lord, unhappy.” – (Qur’an, 19: 4)

“And indeed, I fear the successors after me, and my wife has been barren, so give me from Yourself an heir.” – (Qur’an, 19: 5)

In these 2 verses, Prophet Zechariah (Nabi Zakaria) and his wife who was at the very old age to produce a child, yet he still humbly and earnestly asked to be blessed with a child from Allah s.w.t. Eventually, Allah s.w.t. has granted his du’a:

“O Zechariah, indeed We give you good tidings of a boy whose name will be John. We have not assigned to any before [this] name.” – (Qur’an, 19: 7)

Allah s.w.t. The Most Merciful, bring a good news to him, the birth of a son whose name will be John (Nabi Yahya). A miraculous birth to the barren wife and an extremely elderly husband.

Hence, let’s assure those couples out there that do not lose hope in Allah s.w.t. We might not know the real struggles as we are not in their shoes. However we can help to lessen their worries even if it is just a tiny percent. At least we are planting the optimism in them.

Love ,

Nana 

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