Assalamualaikum & Hello y’all!
2017 is coming to an end, in a few hours. It makes you want to get away with every worst thing you’ve done in 2017, whether it’s consciously or accidentally done.
That’s where I found myself within the last 31 days of 2017. I had been worried about how to move on. Move on isn’t only used when you are moving on from your cheating ex-girlfriend or an abusive ex-boyfriend. Moving on means you finally agreed to leave your past life behind, the bad experiences you’ve dealt with throughout 2017.
And for me, moving on is when I can eventually forgive myself for messing up my own life. For days and nights in the past recent months, I had spent worrying on what comes next, how I am going to face and live the future life I’ve been so devoted waiting for.
Not just I was desperately waiting for 2018 to come, I’ve been anticipating on the ‘bucket things’ I’ve been wanting so bad. For instance, I always wish to see myself persistently doing something I am passionate about, like keep on writing, any kind of writing macam this blog, who knows kan kot la jadi macam Hanis Zalikha dapat jadi retis (lmao, jokes guys jokes, okay?), keep on improvising pasta sauces for my own selera & tekak, keep on eating, any kind of food except telor masak separuh (kenot brain la why you guys can eat that)
So yeah, I do have 2018 resolutions, some people told me before, if you keep on telling people you want to do it or if you pen about it on more than a piece of paper, eventually you’ll manifest it for real.
Along the way, there must be at least 1 person who’ll keep on crushing your dreams. Perhaps, It might be everyone around you. Or maybe, your closest friends or family members? Who knows right?
Enough with the #dreamcrushers thingy as for now. I want to list down my resolutions for 2 0 1 8 (so far). Please don’t laugh if you find it kinda ridiculous or nonsense, cut me some slack, will ya?
1. Have a better anger management!
A somewhat difficult task to execute yet it’s like a key to the happiness of my life. I’m in love with this quote from Laurence J. Peter:9
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret”
Phewww, this quote is surely a facepalm! I tend to lose my temper easily, at times, and when I did so, it was either I vented out the anger, frustration, and hatred to the person who left the ache in me or to someone else who had nothing to do with that. Consequently, it would often ignite the self-hatred for being so mean towards others.
I can’t never stay mad at people for so long, previously, I just looked like I was but I didn’t, guys.
So I’m guessing here what I have to do, try my best not to react too quickly when the anger comes and says ‘hi’.
Pretend that the room isn’t suffocating, with an open door, ten windows and perfect ventilation, so I won’t straight away responding without contemplation.
2. Stop being ‘quiet’ when people mistreat you!
My ex-classmates might see me as that-girl-with-the-self-confidence who could stand up in front of 100 people in class and present smoothly.
However when it comes to stand up for myself, there’s no 100 % guarantee I can accomplish it. Normally I took an easy route and being the quiet girl who keeps to herself.
Being quiet is my version of running away from the situation, it was the best problem solving method I could use. Then, I realized the real reason why these several people keep on mistreating me, because, I thought living in a silent world would stop them from remembering me, whereas all they saw was, my cowardice.
What I should do in future? Easy! Stand up for myself, confront them, and let they know it’s NOT okay for them to treating me like a crap.
What If they (friends) still keep on treating me like a crap shortly after the confrontation? Easy, they have crossed the limits they shouldn’t have at the first place, now it’s on me to angkat kaki & blah.
“It’s not when my voice is raised that you should worry, it’s when I have nothing more to say.” – J. Iron Word
But, what if they are your closest family Nana? Keep on standing up for yourself until they are too exhausted to push you down.
3. Don’t afraid of taking a chance!
Okay, this is definitely NOT the easiest thing to do. It scared the hell out of me just to take a chance. It scared me to think of the worst outcome if I take this chance or that chance.
Take this as an instance, when you’re in the midst of searching for the direction to go to your best friend’s wedding reception, all of sudden you get lost, they’re 2 routes in front of you and you took the right route because you felt it might be the one. Turned out it’s the wrong one. But at least you took the chance just so you could get to see your best friend.
See? It’s not a mistake you’ve gotten by taking the chance, it’s ONLY not the right one for you.
Well, same goes in taking a chance for your lifetime, if you feel like you’re going to perform so well by being a photographer despite the fact that everyone around you keeps on telling you NO.
Go for it, chase it and fight for it.
‘No dude, you can’t survive in such competitive world.’ Or ‘Why you’re chasing this dream while you can have a secure profession with that degree of yours?
Yes, no doubt there’s a tendency it won’t work out for you but at least you make a try. How would you ever know if you refuse on trying?
There’s no certainty in everything in life.
Although you own a degree in law and is currently working in a law firm – doesn’t mean it’s a form of assurance that it would be your lifetime career.
Like right now, I’m currently taking a chance of falling in love with this man, it has been 4 months we’re in the phase of getting to know each other and I would keep on taking a chance on him. If it won’t work out in the middle of the road, he might not be the Jodoh I’ve been hoping for. And if he’s my Jodoh, all the risks I’ve taken so far are worthwhile. (:
Quit on being scared of taking a chance, begin to take the risks instead.
4. Mark ✔ next to several of my ‘bucket lists’!
It doesn’t have to be my forever-going-on-and-on-bucket-lists, enough if I could do something in each month of 2018. Because, if you question me about forever, I would list all 100 things I want to do in life. (And that would involve my future husband and kids. Aww. Long way to go Nana.)
Like me, you must have been desiring on doing some things for years. In 2018, it’s time for me to bring few into action.
Okay let me share what’s mine! Some of my friends are avid travellers, they would travel once or twice per month. Alhamdulillah, rezeki mereka. Probably, they had planned it for months or years, they might have been saving money so that they could realizing their travelling dreams.
I love travelling! Who doesn’t love it, right? I believe most of you are fond of going to new magnifique places too. However due to the time constraint, financial concern, and other unavoidable responsibilities, I have to be smart in planning my vacation.
Hence, if I would be able to have a vacation at least twice a year pun dah syukur. It doesn’t have to be luar negara je, our country, Malaysia has countless of the must-places to visit in your lifetime like the beguile islands, historical spots, and etc.
Hence, my so-called-2018-dream-destinations would be, travelling to an Asian country and another one would be an island in Malaysia. In Sha Allah.
You must be wondering kenapa 2 je? Because I have something more permanent and way crucial to be put into consideration like buying a car and a house. Buying a car and a house might not be in your bucket list at the age of 25 or in the year of 2018, but yeah it’s in mine.
Being the youngest in my siblings and an orphan urges the intention of being independent, sampai bila I have to be manja and senang lenang by using my siblings’ cars and staying at their houses. Don’t get me wrong, they never berkira. It’s me who wants it.
No worries, fyi, I’m not gunning for an expensive car, the smaller size and a slightly affordable car would be enough. Same goes to the house, a small apartment will do (macam skim rumah pertamaku), as long as I could be a self-reliant young woman who’s building my own life without being too spoiled of having too many older siblings.
Hmmm… what else? Well, who doesn’t feel triggered to do the adventurous activities in their lifetime? I’m one of those who love anything involving height. I always want to do paragliding, parachuting or bungee jumping. In sha Allah I’ll find a way and a time to do it in this year (sebab while I menulis ni it’s aleeady 12: 17 a.m.)
P/S: Do not wait for others, make it unstoppable though when people say no. If your friends bail on you on your road trip, for instance, just go for it but please ensure to do the thorough research beforehand. 😉
5. Keep on embracing my passions
I’d came across this quote and damnnn.
“Follow your own passion, not your parents, not your teachers – yours!”
I’m always into books, I used to dream of having my own bookstore one day, just because of how I love books. And everyone knows how I love cooking and eating pasta, I wish the bookstore will be attached to my pasta cafe. Ha ha ha. Well, you don’t miss a thing by dreaming big, guys. There would be no wifi because I want you to engulf yourself in the reading journey while savouring my scrumptious pasta. (P/S: Dream big guys and don’t quit on your daydream)
I made a huge step several days ago and have been planning for a while. I’m turning a passion of mine into a source of making money. While I’m currently in the midst of looking for a new job, why not I do something that I’m not just good at it but crazy in love with it? Cooking pasta and selling it.
To be honest, everytime I cook pasta whether for my beloved family or friends, it’s like I have my own favoritism time with it.
Don’t get me wrong, I would wholeheartedly cook my few bestest Malay dishes too, like Sambal Goreng Jawa, Kuah Kacang or Kuah Lodeh.
Just that I could literally witness the most genuine smile when they’re savouring the food that stands out most in their memories, it’s like bringing us back to the time we had before.
It’s undeniable that I’m quite a strong-willed girl who’ll still chasing a dream while knowing few people around her are smirking, shaking their heads, and ridiculing her dream. I’m in the middle of writing a book, haven’t reach as many words as it should have been in order to produce a novel. On the other hand, it’s a positive progress on my side. I’ve crafted 10,000 words so far and I’ll keep on writing slowly but surely. Nothing impossible in this world.
Okie dokie, that’s it so far, the so-called Nana’s resolutions for 2018, I guess. He he. Btw, what’s your 2018 resolutions?
Be bold and do not forget to sprinkle some magic! Voila!