What makes me happy?

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Guess what? The best thing in everyone’s life is the notion of happiness. I have to admit that we take it for granted. Trust me, everything in your life would be chaotic without it. Ask yourself, how happy are you?

Putting a smile on your face doesn’t imply that you’re happy. And that’s how I ended up writing this entry, because at times, I feel like unhappy.

Maybe, being happy doesn’t determined by how far you’ve travelled the world, maybe, it’s the matter how deep you treasure the world that is in front of you. Maybe, being happy isn’t defined by how scrumptious the burger you’re eating, maybe it’s about who you are sharing it with. Maybe, being happy won’t require you to write an essay long caption on your father’s birthday, maybe being happy is about holding his hands on a daddy-daughter day out.

I reckon, happiness is about the cumulation of the littlest things in your world, that bring out the most genuine smile on your face when no one sees. Or, happiness is all about the extraordinary moments that you never try to see, like the meaning behind the gifts your ex boyfriend gave you.

But really, I have no idea what happiness means to you. No one knows, even your husband who sleeps next to you every night.

Now, I’m in a condition where I have not enough money to travel the world, to buy a car, to own a small house, or to throw a grand wedding of the year. I have no stable career, I have no idea how far my love life would go, and I don’t know what’s going to happen next. But, I am pretty sure, I’m living a happy life. With the smallest things I treasure everyday that could make me feel over the moon, like spooning my stuffed animal.

I bet you’re wondering whether that’s all makes me happy? With that being said, let’s see what actually makes me happy.

1. Kuey teow instead of yellow noodles

Well, simply because I love it. Have you actually met someone who doesn’t eat kuey teow? They’re missing out one of the 100 wonders! The captivating aroma of Stir-fried Kuey Teow or Char Kuey Teow! Dang. Feel like driving to a street stall at this hour (3:00 a.m.). Not that I think of yellow noodles look like worms, that’s my sister’s reason on why she doesn’t eat yellow noodles.

2. Run into a hot man

Truly, I do. It’s like the ‘in-awe-moment’ where I’m the awkward girl in a rom-com movie accidentally stumbles into a new cute or hot boy. There’s literally a pom-pom girl inside of my tummy when a 6 feet something man with a man bun and scruffy face is heading on my direction in a busy street.

P.S. To my boyfriend, sorry baby, I just appreciate the beauties.

3. Natural everyday makeup look

Applying makeup for almost an hour and still look like myself. Because that’s every girl’s dream – trying hard not to look like a ghost. Not to mention the future compliments that will followed by – made my day. 

4. Sing along while driving

When I close my eyes while singing along the lines, I feel like Swift’s exes were my past beaus! “But I’ve got a blank space baby, and I’ll write your name”. Don’t crush my dreams please? Thank you!

5. Fast food all the way 

To end up a perfect night, McDonald’s drive thru seems the only answer. I’ll drive my car in my pyjamas. Double Cheeseburger, Oreo Mcflurry, Sprite, and large Fries. The best thing ever cooked!

6. Unbutton my jeans

#Funfact about me: I eat a lot. That explains why I have to unbutton my jeans, while driving mostly. Do you ever have to unbutton your jeans? Well, try it! It’s such a relief. More than when indulging that Route 66 Burgers. #Praythatnooneeverseesmelikethat 

Not to forget when my best friend stared at my top, ‘What’s the bulge under your top?’ Me: Let me button my jeans! 

7. Sniff my books

Right before I fall asleep, I would put the books on my face, and sniff the smell. The longer I own them, the satisfying the smell would be. Only the bookworms know how I feel on this. Heaven.

8. Tuck in my top (though I have a belly)

How to get someone to adore you? Tuck your shirt in your jeans though you have a belly and thick thighs. Again, it made my day when a friend of mine told me that I could pull it off while she was there thinking how to hide her belly. You know what? Be the Rihanna of your own! Just wear anything that makes you feel better, rock that fashion statement.

9. Play Hide & Seek with my nieces and nephews.

Call me immature but I would never change this for anything. It’s hilarious when they are  always unable to find me behind the curtain, or in between the washing machine and the door. I cover my mouth once hearing the 3 years old niece’s counting – I, 2, 3, 4, 16, 19, are you done? I would bring my phone along so I could text my boyfriend and update him on where about I’m hiding, and he normally says, ‘You can do it princess, my spirit is with you.’

10. Pasta for life

Sounds silly? The truth is that, some people out there have nothing, some people have lost everything and they’re the ones who see the life in the most uncomplicated way – they never wait to feel happy or they don’t waste their time to envy others.

Generally, there tends to be a correlation between how well you earn and how happy you’re. It feels true, nevertheless, it’s the matter of how you spend your money, or where the money goes. It comforts me that now I realize where my money goes, I chose to invest my money for my own happiness. 

Someone questioned me the other day, ‘Don’t you want to own a house and a car? My coworker who’s the same age as you are now married, bought a Proton Bezza and a terrace house.

Of course I would want those, but for me, slowly but surely, I don’t want to buy even the cheapest car, the affordable house and throw a wedding where I am not ready to regularly pay the bank loan.

What if I’m infected by a chronic disease and have insufficient saving to pay for the treatment cost just because I am so into chasing the 3 things at 25. What if I forget to pay the RM2500 student loan? I don’t want to invest my money at once, I love the idea one at a time, perhaps, a house first, followed by a car and finally a wedding.

If I had married my boyfriend, would I have been content to live a smaller life with no house or a car of my own? Is it about venturing into the world that would offer what others want or is it about penetrating into the world that would satiate my appetite? Perhaps, it’s the mixture of both.

By this point, are you considering what’s this entry is all about?

Easy, no one’s responsible for your happiness, no one’s able to dictate your happiness, no one would jump from the cliff to treasure your happiness for you. Whatever the thing that has occured, is about to occur. We might have been planned it out in a notebook but, in the end you life has never been more interesting than this – the unplanned path that leads you  to discover your own happiness.

You could have been wished to live a different life, but you live this one. The future is difficult to predict and the sickening part is, you’re going to question yourself on how to be happy. Perhaps there would something vapurous about the future, something unreal – and that’s your task to find it, in the deepest part of yourself.

Love ,

Nana.

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