Ever since I start reading books, I am deeply into certain themes and genres. Out of all themes, I realize ‘unfaithfulness’ is not my preference. I could never lie about how disturbing reading a life of a cheater is. It isn’t strange if I said, cheating is unacceptable.
My first boyfriend, cheated on me and I never went back to him. When you are in a relationship with anyone, it’s your responsibility not to break the trust he/ she has on you. Without trust, there would be no believable future awaiting for us.
Whenever I read books that portray the idea of unfaithfulness in a marriage, emotion immediately strikes in me, I hardly see the underlying message behind what actually leads a husband/ wife to cheat on their partner.
Anna Karenina enlightens me on how to step back and see an unfaithful story in a bigger picture. I love how unhurried it is written, and it feels so alive, as if I was right there – in the Oblonsky’s house.
This novel is first published in 1878 and it’s written by a famous Russian novelist, Leo Tolstoy.
It began with a husband, Prince Stepan Arkadyevich Oblonsky, Anna’s brother who’s caught cheating. He feels guilty that the cat is out of the bag, knowing his wife is now fully aware of his love affair, however he doesn’t really feel the guilt for cheating on his wife.
I fully understand why he feels okay to do such an immoral behavior. Whenever a husband cheats on his wife, we, outsiders immediately assume the worst comes from the husband, little do we know, it might happen because of the wife.
“Yes, she won’t forgive me, and she can’t forgive me. And the most awful thing about it is that it’s all my fault-all my fault, though I am not one to blame. That’s the whole point of the situation.” – Prince Stepan Arkadyevich Oblonsky
He doesn’t acknowledge it’s wrong to cheat, and he refuses the idea that he’s the only one that should be blamed, yet he does admit that it’s his fault if his wife couldn’t forgive him, not her fault if she thinks it’s unforgivable.
Now, you will automatically reckon what has she done if he believes that he’s not the only one to blame, or you are now wondering what’s wrong with him that he thinks its okay to behave immorally?
What if I said, it’s his human nature, it’s his belief, we are all very distinctive in nature – some actions can be seen as highly immoral in my eyes, but not in your eyes. Some people make decision based on the rationality, on the other hand, a group of people follows their instinct and leaves behind the rationality. Perhaps, Stepan is the second one, he follows what his heart tells him.
“Stepan Arkadyevich Oblonsky was a truthful man in his relations with himself. He was incapable of deceiving himself and persuading himself that he repented of his conduct. He could not at this date repent of the fact that he, a handsome, susceptible man of thirty-four, was not in love with his wife, the mother of five living and two dead children, and himself. All he repented of was that he had not succeeded better in hiding it from his wife, his children and himself.”
He, is the kind of person, who will find himself drawn to the actions that allow him to manifest his goals and desires. If he believed that he is loyal towards himself, he will do anything that goes hand in hand with his belief – although that means, it destroys others.
“…She was contented and happy in her children; I never interfered with her in anything; I let her manage the children and the house as she like…”
” She, his dolly, forever fussing and worrying over household details…”
And this is the part where Dolly (his wife) and he don’t see – the married couple barely have time to commemorate their love towards each other, he’s in control on how the household should work out, if only he had involved with the child rearing, or household management. Nevertheless, it isn’t happened in 21st century, women merely had a power to say what they wanted to hundred years ago.
“He had never clearly thought out the subject, but he had vaguely conceived that his wife must long ago have suspected him of being unfaithful to her, and shut her eyes to the fact.”
In today’s society, this ought to change, a wife can’t keep letting the ignorance control herself, instead of battling the burden of suspicion alone, she should confront her husband as quick as possible. One thing is certain on why women try to keep it to herself – the young children and teenager of a divorce family are not going to go through an easy life.
In a chaotic world of a cheater, now I know, he did choose his path heading to that way, not that he doesn’t expect it to happen – because he knows himself, he chooses what he wants to be despite of how the world perceives a cheater.
I found this book enlightening, especially considering it involves an immoral behavior that I despise. If I turned a blind eye for the rest of my life, it can almost make it worse, because I never inclined to read anything that gives me a quality enlightenment of a cheater’s life. In life, you can’t dictate what kind of a man that who will come into you way in the future.
So by the time you finish this entry, you might question why I don’t touch about Anna Karenina’s betrayal. Merely because I am more enthralled into how this novel introduced itself to me.
Plus, me being me, I hate spoilers, so I’m not going to expose too much scenes that will make your excitement gets away. What on earth left to say aside from urging you to read it right freaking now? Such a page-turner though it has 800 pages, Trust me!